XN's contradictions (or the grass is always greener)

#1 N: "I like lying on the sofa with you more than I like doing most things."

Fast forward to lying on the sofa together one Friday evening after a tiring week at work:

N: [angrily] "We are such a boring couple. We never DO anything."

#2 N: "I want to travel more, go to Seville for one thing."

Me: "Ok, I have these vouchers for a flight from when the airline lost my bag. Would you like me to put the voucher towards a trip to Seville for us?"

N: "No, not now, it'll be too quiet/too hot/too busy/too cold..." (apply adjective to the time of year)

#3 N: "I'm going to miss you whilst you're away in Australia for 3 months (in 2008). I need a holiday too."

Me: "Well, I was going to ask if you would like to join me in February for my brother's wedding in Sydney?"

N: [shouting] "I can't believe you're being so demanding, asking if I want to fly all the way over the side of the world. And I can't afford it". [He was only on £53,000 a year and was paying the huge sum of £200 a month to live at his parents' house]

#4: N: "I've always felt depressed but when I'm with you, and you're cuddling me, I feel like the sun is shining on me."

Me: "That's nice. I'm really happy you feel like that. I love seeing you smile. By the way, would you mind picking your cigarette butts up rather than leaving them strewn over my garden?"

N: "I hate you! No-one else ever makes me feel as bad as you do!"

#5: N: [by text] "I want to be a strong, reliable person. For some reason, it was important to me to say that."

And: "I know you value trust highly and I promise I won't lie to you again. You can hold me to that."

Fast forward:

N: "What's wrong with lying? There's nothing wrong with it! I'm sure I can find a woman to go out with who won't mind someone lying to her every now and then!"

#6: N: [on my birthday] "I don't do birthdays. Getting presents has always embarrassed me."

Fast forward to just before N's birthday:

N: [skipping around with a smile] "what are you going to do for my birthday then?"

#7: XN: I really want to go to a concert. I want to do more exciting things like that.

Me in July 2008: Ok, I'll book these tickets to this James concert in December (2008) before I knew I was moving away.

Fast forward to December:

I drive for 3 hours from where I'm now living to meet xN for the gig. XN texts me to say he's ill and can't go and asks if I can find someone else to go. He then texts to say he's going to be 'out of range' for a few hours.

I thought he must be so ill he's at the hospital (not). I couldn't think of any good reason why he would be out of range.

Surprise, surprise I find his car at his gym half an hour before the gig is supposed to start. I go in to confront him but by the time I've walked around it and come out again his car had gone.

The tickets cost me £60 and lots of humiliation. I was so upset that I ended up crying on the shoulder of the friend I was staying with (who had rearranged her early Christmas day with her parents so she could put me up (xN was still living at home with mum & dad at this point and I couldn't stay there)).

I phoned him that evening and got annoyed. The next day he finished with me (after 5.5 years) by text message.

When I went back for round #2 in March, he kept saying how much he wanted to go to a gig. I thought it was some kind of sick joke.

Ah happy days.