Ns and death

I phoned xN at work once and was told he was at his grandmother's funeral. He hadn't even told me she'd died.

Later on, I said that I was sorry for his loss and asked him why he hadn't told me. He said that he hadn't wanted sympathy.

I thought at the time that here was a sensitive man who had trouble expressing his emotions. In a way, it drew me to him more than ever. I could rescue this man and unlock his emotions!

I realise now that he didn't have any emotions. He knew that and the reason why he didn't want me knowing about the death was because he didn't want to have to fake emotions that he didn't feel. It was clearly easier to be able to do this in front of his work colleagues.

His cat died and he was quite philosophical about it. When my cat died, I sobbed and sobbed, whilst he sat there not knowing what to say or do (so he shouted at me).

I don't know what he'd do if his parents died. I think he would feel something but I doubt it will be normal feelings of grief and loss. He will probably experience sadness at having lost his best of supply (his mum).