I keep reading different things on this subject - that they either pick people/partners who they consider beneath them or they pick friends/partners especially who they consider as good as or better, so they can feed off them. One book I read recently seemed to contradict itself on that point within the space of a few pages.
My XN would often say things to me like 'your body is relatively better than mine' and this wasn't designed to make me feel good (like that ever happened!). It was more a statement, him talking to himself. I'd always thought it odd when he said it but it makes sense now. He also seemed envious of my job, my qualifications, and my supposed direction in life.
I don't like my xN liked to surround himself with people he considered less good looking. Less successful, he could probably handle, but he was always very scathing of anyone (i.e. everyone) who wasn't as good as him.
I also struggle to get my head around the fact that they can have such low self esteem yet at the same time think they are so brilliant.
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