XN and drugs

Mine took drugs from time to time and also drank, but he didn't drink any more than I would consider a normal amount for a guy of his age.

However, after both, he was horrible. A D&D would always follow and I hated him going out because I knew I would get the blame for him feeling terrible after.

He didn't seem to be addicted but used it as a way of forgetting how awful he felt in day to day life. Cocaine made him able to talk to people.

He did it regularly when he was in his early 20's and I'm sure it didn't help him in the long run.

The trouble is in a situation like this, if you try to help you get called a nag, and if you don't try to help you get accused of not caring. And you get abused if they do it anyway.

I used to beg mine not to take drugs because I knew it was never worth it plus I used to get it in the neck afterwards. He used to say, very condescendingly, that he wouldn't be lectured by someone who knew nothing about drug taking and I'd always get chucked. He felt awful...wondered why....would look around...oh there's Sanegirl...must be her fault...right I'd better get rid of her and everything will be fine.

It's difficult to know if the drugs have made him bitter or if he is like that anyway, but, from my own experience, drugs just exacerbated the abuse that I got. I remember once suggesting to XN that he tried to go without for a month just to see if he felt better as he was always complaining that he felt unhappy. He screamed at me down the phone. Later he called and apologised and said that he was sorry, and that I say things to him that are right but that he doesn't want to hear.

Did he stick to it? Not really. He stopped taking pills but still took the cocaine from time to time but only when this friend was around.