The silent treatment

He'd make an effort with people he deemed worthy of his time and energy but that often didn't include me.

I remember my first D&D (oh happy days!). He came round after work on a Friday, tired. Sat there not talking. I was trying to start conversations and suddenly he exploded. Raged at me that I had the social skills of an 11 year old girl.

I said that it's because he wasn't talking and he said, "well, why can't you just tell a story or something like Jane [attractive colleague of his] would instead of constantly asking me questions!"

Way to go to belittle me, devalue me, verbally abuse me and triangulate me in two sentences!

He often did this when we were out for a meal. He just wouldn't have anything to say and it got very dull sitting opposite him.

It was made worse when I would go out and see him making an effort with a select few deemed worthy.

It reinforced the idea that it was me or that it was my fault somehow that he was like this.

I think it was partly that he just didn't have anything to say and partly that he genuinely wasn't interested in anyone else so any sort of two way conversation was very boring to him. Yet he was incapable of intimacy so couldn't open up himself in any way either.

It all made for some very boring evenings!